Testimonials

Unsolicited Client Testimonials for Diane Anderson, RCC
(Clients testimonials permitted only for www.DianeAndersonCounselling.com. No publication or use of testimonials without written permission from Diane Anderson, RCC.)

When I first came to you my relationships were failing miserably. They were closed, hurtful, poisonous, plagued by no honest communication, and hidden agendas. My most intense relationship had just broken up and I was devastated. I’d done counselling years ago, but there was something about you that encouraged me, that let me know I would get through this. And I knew you were the one to help me. You were a gift to me.

What seemed to make a difference about working with you, Diane, is the fact we were both committed to it [the work], and the fact I could be honest with you without feeling judgment. And that you stayed with me, even when I had you following me down the rabbit hole!

I have a lot of strong feelings about our work together. I don’t really know where I’d be right now if I hadn’t walked through that door that day. You got me through my rage. I don’t really know how you did it but you did. You gave me information and knowledge as to how to deal with my anger differently. You gave me the keys to step beyond my rage and anger.

My relationships are closer and more honest now than they have ever have been. I’m no longer afraid to ask for what I need or want. In terms of my relationship with myself, I now realize I have a place on this planet. I laugh and enjoy my life more than I ever have. My trust level is still somewhat guarded but you’ve taught me how to not close myself off despite my anxiety.

Diane, you are open, honest, compassionate, humorous (even when you don’t want to be), wise, a guide, well-learned. You are always growing and you’re not afraid to ask why. I can never repay you for what you’ve done for me. Thank you.

Jess, age 47
Events Coordinator, Vancouver, Canada
June 2006

Before I came to see Diane, I played the blame game quite a lot with my wife. Problems kept happening because I was too busy disagreeing and not busy finding a solution. Small everyday problems grew into uncontrollable ones. In couples counselling, we focused on my past as a part of my problems—when you are stuck in an emotional rut or routine it is hard to notice your own actions and tendencies. Diane helped bring those aspects to my attention, making it easier to deal with them head on.

Since therapy, I have an easier time really looking at my actions and behaviors and how I deal with problems in my relationships. I am very glad to say I have a much more open relationship with my wife. I have also managed to by-pass many problems with friends and family. The way I handle others who have destructive behaviors is also a lot more beneficial as well. I feel much more alert with myself where as before my emotions and actions where somewhat on autopilot. I have gained more confidence and have developed a better understanding of how I react to arguments.

I highly recommend Diane Anderson. She is very professional and warm, and she has a great understanding of the deep issues that can cause problems within relationships.

I had seen a counsellor many years ago about some personal problems I was facing but I had a hard time connecting with her. I felt like I was being diagnosed by the book and being processed very quickly. Diane has great warmth about her that made me feel like she was family. It was easy to open up and address my problems.

My wife had seen Diane years ago and it had helped her immensely. She had nothing but positive things to say about her sessions with Diane and how they helped her through some very hard times. I myself continued to work with Diane because of her strong presence and attention to detail of our personal issues. She also developed some very helpful exercises that really brought light to the problems we had.

J. S., age 31
Film Composer, White Rock, Canada
January 2006

After 35 years, I was still fretting over my marriage break-up. After all these years, I was very concerned and worried with how it may have impacted my adult children with their physical health and relationships. I had so much guilt.

I also had a repetitious pattern in attracting the same kind of men into my life who were unavailable. As I longed for male companionship in my life, it was difficult to let them go. The emotional hurt I experienced at the hand of my mother as a child was also still affecting me at age 82.

I came to see you because I was experiencing some physical health problems: especially problems with my eyes and a fatigue I had not experienced before. I wanted to see if my body wasn’t expressing something on a physical level that was connected to my emotions.

Through our sessions, I have seen many changes in myself. I am more honest with myself about my feelings. I have begun to learn to accept and believe the compliments given to me by others, instead of feeling unworthy of them. I have developed a higher self-esteem. I am aware of my past tendency to let myself suffer in relationships as if I must put up with hurtful or abusive behaviour. I now state when I am hurt or angry or upset with someone. I can assert my needs and express my dismay. I can say no when I need to. I have learned to honour myself more and to forgive myself more.

Now there is congruency between how I always appeared on the outside (confident, powerful, assertive) and how I really do feel on the inside (worthy, confident, loveable).

Being in therapy with you gradually brought things to the surface and helped me to be honest about situations for which I had felt unrelenting guilt or shame. A significant breakthrough was realizing how much of my life has been coloured by the emotional and verbal hurts from my mother. Another breakthrough was when I realized that I was right to take action in leaving a physically-abusive marriage.

I am most proud of being able to cry during the therapy sessions. I know I am much healthier experiencing and expressing feelings at the time when unpleasant situations and remarks arise rather than ignore them at a cost to my emotional and physical well-being.

Diane, you have shared yourself humanly and professionally with me, providing a clear mirror from which my reflections show me my true self—both bright and shadow elements. From this picture, our work together has progressed amazingly well.

Marguerite, age 82
Retired, Vancouver, Canada
June 2006

My relationships were a disaster. I was picking the wrong people for me…ones who were controlling and where I felt unequal. I was feeling so painfully alone that I became almost desperate to be with someone. This was so hurtful to me because I was stuck thinking I needed to stay with someone out of sheer desperation. I put all my focus and attention onto the other person and completely ignored what was important for me. Even more painful was that I was so afraid that I’d be stuck with these terrible relationships because I was so fearful of being alone.

When I first met Diane, I felt an immediate connection with her. I felt understood and not judged about what I was doing. This was such a relief, as I had felt judged from others in the past. Even if I messed up, I knew it would be okay, that Diane would be there to help me figure it out.

And I respected her. I remember one time where Diane laid it on the line and said I had “a decision to make.” I realized that she wasn’t going to just sit there and hold my hand for the next 10 years while I continued to hurt myself, but that she was really determined to HELP me. She was really there for me; she was being strong and her strength made me feel supported and strong myself. And that moment changed things for me.

Now things are good, very good. I have been married for 3 years to a wonderful man and I have had my first child—something I always wanted. I credit Diane, for helping me with that. I am more equal in my marriage and in my relationships with my family. I am more confident. I feel good about myself and I believe I am a good person. I also forgive myself for what I did in my past and I don’t think I’m “bad” because of it. I accept myself, and I tell myself and others that each thing that happened to me was an opportunity to learn about me.

D.B., 38
Librarian, Vancouver, Canada
April 2006

Relationships for me prior to seeing Diane were without a doubt, insane, dysfunctional, destructive and down-right messy. Coming from an extremely abusive childhood my role models for relationships with men and women were extremely skewed. I unconsciously sought out men who were extremely violent, angry, misogynistic, verbally and physically abusive like my father and created friendships with women who were disconnected, immature, and self-loathing like my mother.

Though I cannot (in all fairness) blame others wholly for the relationships I had as I, too, share in the responsibility for perpetuating the craziness. It took a deadly situation, were I almost lost my life to a man I had dated, for me to accept I needed to make changes in my life. I embarked on some serious in-depth sessions with Diane to realize the patterns from my past, my own behaviors and choices, before I could consciously change the destructive road I was on.

I was fortunate to work with Diane through Victim’s Assistance after the situation I described above. Her 12-week course changed my perception on relationships, taught me to honor myself and acknowledge my past. It was life-changing for me. I spent a few years working on me, honoring myself, and most importantly, getting to know who “Cathy” is and was and what I wanted to be and that my life is by my design.

So happy ending, I meet a wonderful (and I do mean wonderful) man, who might I add had been under my nose for almost 6 years. I was just so messed up I didn’t see him! After a couple years, we decided to get married. Knowing that we both had been through some craziness with our own families and that we wanted to avoid repeating generational issues, we both decided to embark on couple counselling.

We wanted a “How to be a Functional, Loving and Fantastic Couple” course but knew nothing of substance really existed or if it did exist, it was so out of our price range it was ridiculous. I then suggested Diane and described how she helped me to change my life. So that is the route we choose to take. It was with out a doubt the right decision for us.

The communication skills we learned with Diane were so beneficial. My husband and I have clear and concise discussions that result in mature decisions and solutions. Diane taught us how to acknowledge our own behavioral patterns and more importantly where the roots of these patterns stem from and how to work through and consciously accept the positive patterns and change the negative ones. We learned to honor that special being inside each other and also learned to honor each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Where I lack he exceeds; where he lacks I exceed. It is a wonderful balance that we really treasure. We have so much to learn from each other.

I have spent years (and I do mean years) in therapy since I was a young teenager in foster care. And books, oh yes the books (too many to name), but boy have I read a lot of those do-it-yourself self-help books. There is no comparison to the work I did with Diane privately then as a couple with my husband. Her connection, insight, knowledge, honesty and most of all the results achieved with Diane are absolutely unmatched.

Diane helped me to really honor how I survived my childhood, which was huge for me. I was always told even when I was a small girl that I was to blame for the abuse I suffered: “You asked for it.” “You made me do it.” “You are a whore.” “You will be nothing more than a homeless junkie prostitute” and “I (meaning my dad) am God” were the words I constantly heard from 3 years of age. When I was put in foster care at the age of 14, my father’s side of the family disowned me, convinced I lied about what had happened. In fact, the real problem was that with the assistance of my high school counselors, neighbors, family friends, and Child Services, together we blew the lid off a family secret that spanned generations. To this day, most of my father’s family are still in denial.

Diane has helped me to move past this and honor that part of me that is always seeking justice and truth and acknowledge where it all stems from. I can still be the crusader for women’s and children’s rights without ripping myself apart or frantically jumping into old behaviors.

I now am very comfortable with being selective and open with whom I bring into my life because I am worth it. I trust my character assessment and my intuition more than ever. I put myself and my well-being first. I am able to recognize destructive relationships and make wise decisions about them. By doing this, my self-esteem has grown and I really like the person I am today and most importantly I trust myself and my intuition. I can express love unconditionally and receive it fully. My relationships with people are more meaningful and joyful because I have found meaning and joy.

I am confident, secure and really happy. I have found the light, meaning, joy and worthiness that has been always there inside of me. I am able to really express it, own it and enjoy it. I honor myself today. I enjoy my accomplishments and thrive in my personal growth. I no longer buy into self-doubt, self-loathing, and self-sabotage nor do I accept it in or from other people.

Diane is well educated, professional and very passionate about assisting people in their growth. She has a straightforward approach and fosters a safe, secure environment for you to explore the issues in your life.

You will see results with Diane. No doubt about it, you will see results. If you are ready to see a change in your life and if you desire to embrace the person you always wished of becoming, stop self-sabotaging and give her a call. It changed my life and it will change yours.

Cathy
White Rock, Canada
January 2006

I came to you because I realized how cut off I was from my body: I did a lot of unconscious overeating and had frequent urinary tract infections, and avoided my most painful emotions.

Being married for only a few years, I also was having a lot of difficulty in acknowledging how much I needed my husband. I couldn’t tolerate needing him so much and that made me distance myself from him. On one occasion, I got a pain in my gut when I wanted to talk to him and realized I could not reach him by phone.

Despite having been in analysis, I was surprised to realize how cut off from my feelings and needs I was. I didn’t realize how anxious my sadness and anger made me. I also never realized how extensively I dissociated in response to my anxiety.

In working with you in the past 6 months, I have greatly decreased my episodes of unconscious eating and have lost 25 pounds. In our work together, I have become aware of how much anxiety I have had and now can pay attention to it. I also recognize the feelings underneath that are creating this anxiety. I now attend to my feelings and take good care of myself.

My ability to be intimate in my relationship with my husband has increased and I can accept my need for him. I see that as a very positive thing to have.

Maggie, 45
Psychiatrist, Vancouver, Canada
May 2006

My initial reason for coming to therapy was to understand myself better: why I do what I do, the way I treated and responded to my relationships with family, friends, and partners.

I was feeling unsure and lost and confused when I first started therapy. My anxiety was about a ten out of ten! My relationships with my family (who live in another province) were overwhelming. I spent too much time on finding the perfect relationship with men and focusing on other people in my life instead of focusing on myself.

A friend suggested that I go to a therapy session. I thought at that time, that nothing “bad” was happening with me. No one close to me died, I wasn’t in a bad relationship, and my life was in good shape. She said, “It will help you.” I went and felt frightened, and embarrassed because I didn’t know what to say being my first time going to therapy. But, I felt comfortable enough to keep coming back for further sessions.

My repetitive problems were of relationships with men, intimate and romantic problems. I noticed I came to therapy to get some advice on how I was handling myself and to get some guidance in the right direction, based on the information I was giving Diane. I wasn’t really opening up to her though. I set up walls and barriers for myself, and I didn’t want to let myself feel the pain.

I realize now that I wasn’t ready for what I would see about myself or ready to let another person see. It was about being vulnerable and I wasn’t ready for that yet. I was “playing it safe,” not feeling emotion and sometimes trying to force it rather than just letting it happen.

But Diane saw that and was able to help me with that. In working with Diane I was finally able to let those walls come down. The break through for me was when I finally let go and let the walls fall and talked about what really was bothering me and underneath it all, was my family. Diane really pushed me over the last couple of months to dismantle those walls between myself and my feelings. The floodgates opened and now I am not closing them and instead, I can keep in contact with my feelings.

Now, I am taking action to change my career and to find what I want to be doing. My career is changing significantly from the initial plan I made for myself. I am now in a stronger romantic relationship. I also address problems, instead of ignoring them. I am dealing with family issues I always avoided. I have learned a lot about myself and about my feelings toward family and friends. I have a greater understanding of why I behave the way I do in certain situations.

I have used my therapy to help others as well. The knowledge and advice Diane has given me I also tend to share with family and friends. I have learned to be more forgiving, understanding, and have learned to let go of things that shouldn’t bother me. Therapy has helped me to be a better person and to figure out what I want in my life.

Working with Diane has helped me immensely. I have changed over the last 2 years. I am a different person because of her! She has shown me hurtful patterns that I had made for myself that I didn’t see and with her help I have learned to break them. I can love myself for who I am. I am being more emotionally honest with myself and with others I am close to and trust. I have been hiding my emotions for so long.

I am proud that I stuck with therapy and saw how important it is for me. I am proud of myself that I am learning more about me everyday and learning to feel and express myself more freely and emotionally. I have an amazing relationship with a man that is so good to me and for me.

My comments about Diane, is that when I first met her I felt very comfortable and safe in her presence. As far as counselors, I had seen one other before her. I continued with Diane because she has a unique way about her. She is very direct and discreet. She is very genuine and caring. Her style is that she is not trying to get people to like her, but trying to get people to like themselves and feel comfortable enough to let her in and help. Diane really listens: visually, physically and emotionally. She is really aware and present and that makes me feel very connected toward her in our sessions.

I have enjoyed our sessions and look forward for more to come.

E.D., age 28
Journalist, Vancouver,
May, 2006

I was sad, depressed and grieving the loss of my husband of 17 years to cancer. I had a complete inability to cry during his illness, while nursing him through his illness, during his dying, and during his memorial service 6 months later. Not being able to cry was my primary concern [when I came to therapy], as it didn’t seem right that I had no tears, especially given how much I was hurting.

I also had serious concerns with regard to my long-time history of eating problems and depression. My psychiatrist recommended I see Diane.

As soon as Diane and I started the sessions, I had a surprising realization. I am more prone to sadness rather than depression and I have a great deal of anxiety within me that I didn’t have a clue about! In fact, the depression was keeping a lid on top of the anxiety, which was on top of the sadness. The depression was basically deadening me to all my feelings. Depression had been a problem throughout my life, starting in early childhood when I lost my father to a chronic illness and my mother was busy trying to pick up the pieces of her life.

In working with Diane, I was able to put lots of pieces together about my feelings and my habitual pattern of not dealing with them.

A big breakthrough in the sessions was when Diane helped me deal with a very serious trauma when I was 13. She gave me a very different perspective than I held previously. In talking about the situation and feeling my anger, guilt, and helplessness about it, I was able to finally put it to rest, move on, and stop punishing myself for it.

Diane has become a safe place for me; she is accepting of me—warts and all. My mood has lifted for the most part and my family and friends don’t worry about me as much now. I am most proud of the fact that I haven’t given up on myself or my longing to be whole and to be in love with someone again when the time and the person are right for me. I am very, very satisfied with what I have accomplished in my sessions.

I realize I have a lot of perseverance and can do much more than I ever thought I could! I have lost 40 pounds to date, completed my first 10km walk this weekend, and I’m working toward completing my first half-marathon overseas this summer.

T.D., age 52
Public Advocate, Surrey, Canada
April 2006

I came for counselling because I felt stuck in my life. Initially, I assumed that to be primarily a “career” issue. Early on I realized the depression I had been experiencing had long, old roots. I still feel stuck in many ways, but the depression does not feel as dark since coming to the sessions with Diane. I would say that the thoughts of suicide have pretty much disappeared.

To date I have attained a greater awareness of what I am actually feeling as well as my tendency to distract myself with anxiety, humour, intellectualizing and self-criticism. I’ve also learned that “tired” is not a “feeling.”

Working with Diane has provided me with a mirror/voice. She has also helped me see beyond my own level of awareness, to confront my avoidance and to focus my attention on the issue at hand, regardless of my reluctance! It also feels safer knowing that Diane is there holding the safety wire as you descend.

At this point in my counselling, what has been most significant is my greater understanding of my own patterns and their evolution, as well as a greater awareness of how they’ve/I’ve held me back. What I am most proud of is that I have continued to come to therapy in spite of frequent feelings of dread! I have stayed with those difficult feelings rather than avoid them.

I am most grateful for the blend of intelligence, warmth, compassion and insight that Diane brings to each session.

Thank you, Diane.

CF, Age 42
Teacher, Vancouver, Canada,
March 2006

Initial reason to come to therapy was to overcome and discuss an eating disorder. I was experiencing low self-esteem and high anxiety which led to family issues (particularly with my sister).

In therapy with Diane, I learned how to communicate better and have more effective methods and positive interactions with my family members. I have recovered from eating issues and have more confidence in myself and less anxiety. I am able to get things off my chest and out in the open, which I never could do before.

A significant breakthrough in the therapy for me was identifying mad and sad emotions and feeling the sadness rather than ignoring it and keeping it all bottled up. I am most proud of my perseverance and my fight through the difficult and painful years between Grades 10 and 12.

Emily, age 20
University Student, West Vancouver, Canada
February 2006

I came to see Diane to deal with my difficulties around food, my self-worth, and how this affected my being in relationships—family, friendships or romantic!

I have experienced a change in these issues in the course of doing therapy with Diane. I realized that my family and friends have been leaning on me to the point of where I have been breaking down. I have lots of anger and grief about how that has affected me. I have always been there from a very young age supporting my family, but have had to accept that they have not been able to be there for me in a supportive fashion.

I am still struggling with my feelings about my body and food, but I feel that I am beginning to understand some of the reasons why I have had food problems for so long. I also realize that despite losing a significant amount of weight again; for me the real battle is in maintaining my present weight and not giving up, giving in and regaining it all back again (as I have done before). I am trying to break away from a “dieting” mentality and to rely on myself and trust myself to eat again in a normal, healthy way.

Diane confronts me when I am hard on myself and destructive to my own self-esteem. She has helped me to really consider how I am being treated in my relationships with friends and family.

I have learned how to become more assertive in all my relationships and to expect more for myself. She also helps me to know what is reasonable and what is unreasonable to expect, and how to handle difficult situations for myself. In fact, I was able to take an extended trip to a foreign country with my family members and arrive home with my hard-earned weight loss intact! I am proud of how I handled an incredibly challenging situation and took good care of myself.

I am most proud of the fact that I am addressing my problems rather than using food (eating or not eating) to make the feelings go away. I am re-evaluating my friendships. I am being more selective in my romantic partnerships. I am trying new things. I am very satisfied with the work I have done and proud of my successes.

A.R. age 30
Customer Service Agent, Vancouver, BC
January 2006

In the past year, I came to deal with the loss of three of my family members to cancer in a very quick succession. I was experiencing deep grief, anxiety, and depression. All my emotions for me, especially my anger, were suppressed and were coming out in the form of anxiety. I was having difficulty sleeping, eating, and working and had to take time off from my job. Even more troubling was my inability to feel connected to my partner and to feel any joy or interest in anything that I really cared about. I was anxious every time I approached a hospital, at times having panic attacks.

I found it difficult to come to the sessions on days that I was anxious to face some of my complicated feelings towards my family members who had died. But your style of counselling helped me to focus on how and why I was feeling what I was feeling and what I was being so detached from. I found I could be more compassionate with myself.

I came to see you the first time four years ago for issues in my relationship. Now I came because of the impact the deaths of my family members had on my health. In working with you, Diane, I have learned that all emotions are healthy and important. Each one needs to be recognized in order to let it go and continue on. Each emotion needs to be recognized in order to be free from anxiety. Although my anger is still a bit of stumbling block at times, I’m definitely not afraid of it as I once was.

Looking back, understanding my emotions and becoming aware of how my body reacted to various situations has been huge. Counselling has helped me to reduce my stress and my anxiety to where the panic attacks are gone. I was able to return to work within a month of counselling with you. And I can now be close to my partner and am able to create a family with him.

Therapy is challenging and difficult because it requires a leap of faith… and sometimes I needed a nudge towards the edge. I found your support and guidance invaluable. Thank you Diane.

T.B., age 36
Gardener, North Vancouver, Canada
December 2005

I had serious concerns about my eating. I was overeating and not knowing why. I was stuffing myself at suppertime even though I knew I wasn’t hungry. I knew I felt anxious about returning to work after having 9 months off due to an illness. My anxiety was a 10 out of 10! My head was spinning, I couldn’t concentrate, and I felt sad. My psychiatrist from the cancer clinic referred me to Diane.

I had issues with my parents that went way back. I had been in therapy before in the hope I would not keep dragging that baggage with me through the rest of my life. But the baggage was still attached.

And I had anger issues. I did not know when it was appropriate to be angry or at what level of anger was appropriate for the incident. I didn’t want to be angry or feel angry, so I tried not to. I realized that my anger is what I was stuffing down.

My own personal gauge was lost. I didn’t experience what I was feeling. I overrode it in my mind so that I didn’t have to deal with what I felt at all. I noticed when I didn’t experience the negative emotions that I tended to stuff my self at suppertime and to drink too much wine!

I am still learning the process of feeling. It is hard sometimes because it can be painful. Crying seems to be second nature to me now—and that takes a little getting used to. I am trying to move through the pain of anger, loneliness, frustration, disappointment, sadness and depression. Though on my good days, I feel fantastic! And my suppertime overeating has pretty much stopped.

What I learned in working with Diane was that I was not feeling my feelings at all. By practicing every day to feel, I know that one day I will find my gauge again and I’ll be able to trust my own decisions—just as I did when I decided to do alternative treatments when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I think it is good to find the issue, discuss what it is I need to do and do what I need to do at home and in life in general, in order to heal and to move through the pain that is stuck in my body.

The benefit of working with Diane is that I wanted some kind of accelerated program that would actually help me figure out what I needed to work on so the rest of my life could be happy, healthy, fulfilling, and wonderful. I found what I needed to know about myself. At times I wish we could have moved through situations more quickly in order to concentrate on releasing the issue!

The big breakthrough for me was the realization that I was not feeling my emotions. What I am most proud of myself is that I know I will never give up on myself in this life—whether it be my emotions, my physical body, and/or my spirit.

Stephanie, age 44
Designer, South Surrey, BC
July 2006

My husband has never connected with a counsellor like he did with Lorill! With her unique abilities, he was able to talk and to open up in our session like I've never seen before. We were able to accomplish so much together after one session. Thanks Lorill!
Name withheld by request, White Rock, BC

Prior to working with Lorill, our interactions were always one-sided, with my wife always waiting (and becoming more and more frustrated) that I didn't say more. She always felt so disconnected from me and I always felt overpowered by her. In our first session, Lorill immediately observed how we talked together-that I was, of course, the more quiet one and my wife was therefore always the prominent speaker-and how that may contribute to our problems.

Lorill focused on balancing our conversations more, and on identifying what was at the root of our problems and how it related to our different upbringings. We came up with a plan for taking small, individual steps to address what our problems are. I feel more close to my wife than ever. And she is no longer the only one talking! We are comfortable talking with each other.and I realize how important it is to my wife and our relationship that I say what's on my mind. Name withheld by request, White Rock, BC

Diane Anderson & Associates — Counsellor
Serving: Greater Vancouver, Surrey, South Surrey,
White Rock, Langley, Cloverdale, Fraser Valley, and Tsawwassen, British Columbia as well as Blaine,
Bellingham, and Seattle, Washington.