Do You Find that Love Repeatedly Hurts?

• Do you cling to relationships that are painful no matter how much you suffer?
• Do you have a hard time getting over and moving on from a relationship or marriage where you’ve been hurt?
• Do you pursue relationships with someone you can’t have… or lose interest once you get them?
• Do you continually ruin a good relationship with hurtful and confusing behavior such as criticizing, cheating or running away?
• Are you in constant conflict with your partner, arguing over “the same old things” and never dissolving your problems once and for all?

Married, living together, dating or single, if you identify with these relationship patterns and relationship problems you need to keep reading! You don’t have to suffer in love!

My relationships were a disaster. I was picking the wrong people for me… ones who were controlling and where I felt unequal. I was feeling so painfully alone that I became almost desperate to be with someone.

This was so hurtful to me because I was stuck thinking I needed to stay with someone out of sheer desperation. I put all my focus and attention onto the other person and completely ignored what was important for me. Even more painful was that I was so afraid that I’d be stuck with these terrible relationships because I was so fearful of being alone.

When I first met my counsellor Diane, I felt an immediate connection with her. I felt understood and not judged about what I was doing. This was such a relief as I had felt judged from others in the past. Even if I messed up, I knew it would be okay, that she would be there to help me figure it out.

And I respected her. I remember one time where Diane laid it on the line and said I had “a decision to make.” I realized that she wasn’t going to just sit there and hold my hand for the next 10 years while I continued to hurt myself, but that she was really determined to HELP me.

She was really there for me. She was being strong and her strength made me feel supported and strong myself. And that moment changed things for me.

Now things are good, very good. I have been married for 2 years to a wonderful man and just gave birth to my first child—something I always wanted. I credit Diane, for helping me with that.

I am more equal in my marriage and in my relationships with my family. I am more confident. I feel good about myself and I believe I am a good person. I accept myself, and I tell myself and others that each thing that happened to me was an opportunity to learn about myself.

D.B., 38
Library Assistant, Vancouver, Canada

You can break free from deeply embedded, negative patterns, create the healthy, harmonious, and loving relationship that you’ve always longed for, and have:

• Security and trust that comes from a solid, committed relationship
• Excitement and passion with someone you can’t wait to get home to.
• Closeness and comfort from a deep connection to your partner.
• Renewed health and vitality that allows you to “take on the world” because your relationship works!

Before I came to Diane Anderson & Associates, I played the blame game quite a lot with my wife. Problems kept happening because I was too busy disagreeing and not busy finding a solution. Small everyday problems grew into uncontrollable ones. In couples counselling, we focused on my past as a part of my problems—when you are stuck in an emotional rut or routine it is hard to notice your own actions and tendencies. My counsellor helped bring those aspects to my attention, making it easier to deal with them head on.

Since therapy, I have an easier time really looking at my actions and behaviours and how I deal with problems in my relationships. I am very glad to say I have a much more open relationship with my wife. I have also managed to by-pass many problems with friends and family. The way I handle others who have destructive behaviours is also a lot more beneficial as well.

I feel much more alert with myself where as before my emotions and actions where somewhat on autopilot. I have gained more confidence and have developed a better understanding of how I react to arguments.

I highly recommend Diane Anderson & Associates. They are very professional and warm, and have great understanding of the deep issues that can cause problems within relationships.

J.S. age 31
Film Composer, White Rock, Canada

With our skills, experience, and passion for relationship work and your willingness and commitment, we can identify what is getting in the way of YOU having a successful and satisfying love relationship. In working with Diane & Associates, you will benefit by:

• Learning to choose the person who’s right for you.
• Staying close and connected to someone without losing yourself.
• Repairing and deepening trust in your self, your partner and love!
• Making painful and annoying frustrations the very thing that brings you closer together and strengthens your love with a partner.
• Building resiliency in your relationship so you can work through anything… even if life throws you a curve ball.

Although all relationships can cause pain at times, we work with people who have a PATTERN of being in hurtful relationships and who want to change that once and for all.

Relationships for me, prior to seeing Diane, were without a doubt, insane, dysfunctional, destructive, and down right messy.

Coming from an extremely abusive childhood, my role models for relationships were extremely skewed. I unconsciously sought out men who were extremely violent, angry, misogynistic, and verbally and physically abusive like my father. And I created friendships with women who were disconnected, immature, and self-loathing like my mother.

I shared in the responsibility of perpetuating the craziness. It took a deadly situation where I almost lost my life in a dating relationship for me to accept I needed to make changes in my life. I embarked on some serious in-depth sessions to realize the patterns from my past, my own behaviours and choices, before I could consciously change the destructive road I was on.

So happy ending, I meet a wonderful man (and I do mean wonderful), who had been right there under my nose for almost 6 years—I was just so messed up I hadn’t seen him!

After a couple years of dating, we decided to get married. Knowing that we both had been through some craziness with our own families and that we wanted to avoid repeating generational issues, we both decided to embark on couple counselling. I then suggested Diane Anderson & Associates and described how they had helped me to change my life.

It was without a doubt the right decision for us. The communication skills we learned with our counsellor were so beneficial. My husband and I have clear and concise discussions that result in mature decisions and solutions. she taught us how to acknowledge our own behavioural patterns and more importantly where the roots of these patterns stem from. We learned how to work through and to consciously change the negative patterns and to accept the positive ones.

We learned to honor that special being inside each other and also learned to honor each other’s strengths and weaknesses. Where I lack he exceeds, where he lacks I exceed, it is a wonderful balance that we really treasure, we have so much to learn from each other.

Cathy S., 35
White Rock, Canada

Individually or as a couple, we can work with you to examine and understand how you get into these destructive patterns. More importantly, we will work with you to CHANGE the engine that drives them!

You and your partner may or may not seem to be suited to each other… only you can determine that. As difficult as that may seem to figure out now, together we can work to understand your particular situation with precision, honesty and accuracy so that what you need to do—together or on your own—becomes clear to you.

When I first came to you, my relationships were failing miserably; they were closed, hurtful, poisonous, plagued by no honest communication, and hidden agendas. My most intense relationship had just broken up and I was devastated.

I’d done counselling years ago, but there was something about you that encouraged me, that let me know I would get through this. And I knew you were the one to help me. You were a gift to me.

My relationships are closer and more honest now than they have ever been. I’m no longer afraid to ask for what I need or want. In terms of my relationship with myself, I now realize I have a place on this planet. I laugh and enjoy my life more than I ever have. My trust level is still somewhat guarded but you’ve taught me how to not close myself off despite my anxiety.

I have a lot of strong positive feelings about our work together. I don’t really know where I’d be right now if I hadn’t walked through your door that day. You got me through my rage. I don’t really know how you did it but you did. You gave me information and knowledge on how to deal with my anger differently. You gave me the keys to step beyond my rage and anger and into healthier relationships with myself and others.

Jess, age 47
Events Coordinator, Vancouver, Canada

As Registered Clinical Counsellors and Registered Professional Counsellors with over thirty years of combined training and experience in working with individuals and couples in the area of relationships, we have the tools and techniques that can help you develop insights and change your love pattern!

We have specialized training in relationships and in how people respond and attach to each other. We are passionate about our work with clients and we work hard to achieve the outcomes they desire. We work in a precise and in-depth fashion to stop painful, self-destructive patterns.

We are energetic, determined and extremely compassionate. We will work with you to dismantle the barriers between you and a healthy loving relationship. We will encourage and support you as you try new things and challenge you when self-defeat prevents you from getting what you want. Mostly we work with you in a heartfelt manner to understand why you do what you do and what can be done to change that.

I had seen a counsellor many years ago about some personal problems I was facing but I had a hard time connecting with her. I felt like I was being diagnosed by the book and being processed very quickly. Diane has great warmth about her that made me feel like she was family. It was easy to open up and address my problems.

My wife had seen Diane years ago and it had helped her immensely. She had nothing but positive things to say about her sessions with Diane and how they helped her through some very hard times. I myself continued to work with Diane because of her strong presence and attention to detail of our personal issues. She also developed some very helpful exercises that really brought light to the problems we had.

J. S., age 31
Film Composer, White Rock, Canada

When I first met Edel, I thought I had myself all figured out. She helped me see where I wasn't being honest with myself, and always gave me the straight goods. She saw my potential, and never gave up on me. She will shadow your willingness to work on yourself with attentiveness, honesty and skill. Edel is truly an inspiration and is in a large part responsible for the wonderful person I am today.

Thomas. B., Vancouver, BC

My husband has never connected with a counsellor like he did with Lorill! With her unique abilities, he was able to talk and to open up in our session like I've never seen before. We were able to accomplish so much together after one session. Thanks Lorill! Name withheld by request, White Rock, BC

Prior to working with Lorill, our interactions were always one-sided, with my wife always waiting (and becoming more and more frustrated) that I didn't say more. She always felt so disconnected from me and I always felt overpowered by her. In our first session, Lorill immediately observed how we talked together-that I was, of course, the more quiet one and my wife was therefore always the prominent speaker-and how that may contribute to our problems.

Lorill focused on balancing our conversations more, and on identifying what was at the root of our problems and how it related to our different upbringings. We came up with a plan for taking small, individual steps to address what our problems are.

I feel more close to my wife than ever. And she is no longer the only one talking! We are comfortable talking with each other.and I realize how important it is to my wife and our relationship that I say what's on my mind. Name withheld by request, White Rock, BC

I now am very comfortable with being selective and open with whom I bring into my life because I am worth it. I trust my character assessment and my intuition more than ever! I put my well-being and myself first. I am able to recognize destructive relationships and make wise decisions about them. By doing this, my self-esteem has grown and I really like the person I am today. Most importantly, I trust my intuition and myself. I can express love unconditionally and receive it fully. My relationships with people are more meaningful and joyful because I have found meaning and joy.

Cathy S., age 35
White Rock, Canada

Diane is open, honest, compassionate, wise, humorous (even when she doesn’t want to be), well-learned, and a guide. She is always growing and she’s not afraid to ask why.

What seemed to make a difference about working with her is the fact we were both committed to it [the work], and the fact I could be honest with her, without feeling judgment. And that she stayed with me, even when I had her following me “down the rabbit hole!”

Diane, I can never repay you for what you’ve done for me. Thank you.

Jess, age 47,
Events Coordinator, Vancouver, Canada

Diane, you are accepting and nonjudgmental and I had a real level of trust with you. You have a sense of humor and openness, and we can laugh when things are funny and not be so serious all the time. And you are very compassionate.

D.B., age 38
Library Assistant, Vancouver, Canada

Diane is well-educated, professional and very passionate about assisting people in their growth. She has a straightforward approach and fosters a safe, secure environment for you to explore the issues in your life.

You will see results with Diane. No doubt about it, you will see results. If you are ready to see a change in your life and if you desire to embrace the person you always wished of becoming, stop self-sabotaging and give her a call. It changed my life and it will change yours.

Cathy S., age 35
White Rock, Canada

If you want to stop hurting now, consider counselling with Diane Anderson & Associates today.

Your time is too precious to lose another moment to unsatisfying and hurtful love patterns with a partner. Wouldn’t you like to feel love NOW without repetitive pain? Why wait another moment?

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Call 778-292-0260 today or email info@DianeAndersonCounselling.com to schedule a FREE, confidential 10-minute consultation with one of our counsellors with no commitment required. Together we can talk about your problems and see how we can be of help to you today.

For general inquiries regarding our fees, services, or appointments, please email Lanita, our office administrator at info@DianeAndersonCounselling.com.

Diane Anderson & Associates — Counsellors
Serving: Greater Vancouver, Surrey, South Surrey,
White Rock, Langley, Cloverdale, Fraser Valley, and Tsawwassen, British Columbia as well as Blaine,
Bellingham, and Seattle, Washington.